JaeRae's Shindig

It was my very first party with TYS and I was about as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I bought a fresh little skirt and a cute top and did my hair and make-up with care. I wanted to look like a real professional, like I knew what the hell I was talking about.

JaeRae lives in a fancy neighborhood near a big golf course with homes that could easily swallow four of my own modest one. All I could see were dollar signs as I planned to sell my goods. I came up with a few silly games to entertain the ladies, made up lots of goody bags and  door prizes and even practiced my whole spiel in front of my husband a few times to make sure I sounded smooth when I described the products.

My leader had trained me well. She had mentioned numerous times that children were not permitted when you're doing these parties. Who really wants to explain why adults would need silicone and jelly phallic shaped toys to a kid? Nasty, right? I had told JaeRae this but at the last minute her husband said he would not be leaving the house but he would keep the kids upstairs. Would I be assertive and insist she make arrangements for her brood? What if she canceled the whole thing? Oh hell no! I wasn't willing to take that chance.

Oh the lure of easy money. I made her promise me she'd keep them upstairs. The thought of them busting into the man cave didn't help my anxiety level a bit so I started drinking straight away.

Quite a few tequila shots later, it was more than a bit difficult not to slur my words as I passed around the lotions and oils and edible accoutrements one might need for a night of somewhat sticky seduction. I quickly realized that my knowledge of the products didn't matter a bit. Most the women there already knew more than I did about this stuff. One woman after another would tell how the Prolong Him Creme, Labido Lotion or the Vajayjay Shave Gel had improved their marital relations. The items virtually sold themselves and I wasn't too shocked when the women would march into the private "shopping booth" (JaeRae's storage room) and order high end items like they were simply replacing their mismatched Tupperware.

Everyone seemed to have a great time and there wasn't a girl there that wasn't willing to pass that double sided dong around or share some intimate secret that would make a whore blush (no one there did though). No minors were corrupted and even though I was sweating like a cheerleader in the boys' locker room, I kept my composure just long enough to take orders from everyone there and even booked five parties! My profit margin was looking really good. I thanked JaeRae with the knowledge that I'd easily make my quota and earn that kit.

As I packed up my novelties in my rolling toolbox and headed out of that neighborhood with a big glass of water, a wad of cash and a dozen credit card slips, I was so proud of myself. I drove home high on success and making plans for how I was going to spend that money I'd just made in a few short hours of partying.

Little did I know that the next party I did would be very different but I had the enthusiasm of a new bride and the naiveté to go with it.

How It All Began

My name is Lila Jane Rigby. I live in the valley of the quaint little Southern town where I grew up. Our small town is surrounded by mountains which somehow protect us from the harsh cruel world and allow us to live in a false reality filled with niceties and people who can talk endlessly without ever saying anything.

I myself am a housewife with a hard working husband. We've been married for what seems like forever. I met him when I was practically a child. I fell in love with him mostly I think now because I knew my family would not approve. I was shy, insecure and drawn to him. What I lacked in confidence, I made up for in my willingness to make boys love me. Our fast friendship quickly turned to romance when I showed him just how fast I was. He was "in love" and I got a quick kick in the ass that put me out of my family's house.

The years have gone by faster than dandelions can multiply in my front yard. My aforementioned skills have kept him loyal and provided me a simple life and three beautiful children: Sassy, Spunky and Sissy. Why yes, they are all girls. I'm lucky like that.

My days have become somewhat monotonous and more than a bit mediocre. I raise my girls up by hand. Know what that means? Well, it means I do it all myself mostly (that man of mine works a lot!) and I'm not a fan of the Time Out Movement so many other mothers are these days.

Money is always tight. Gas prices rise like the humidity in July. Groceries sure ain't cheap if you want to eat the fresh stuff. I'm the sort of girl that if you give me a dollar, I'll spend five. My husband, on the other hand, is tighter than bark on a tree. This dilemma had brought us to a sort of an impasse and I knew I had to do something with a quickness to improve our situation. In a town where you will surely pass more churches than you could ever shake a stick at, I decided the thing to do would be sell sex toys, marriage enhancers if you're a godly lady.

I knew this girl named Dierdre who had done it. I met her through an organization for gals with small children called Mother's Milk. Dierdre bragged to me how lucrative selling these toys could be and how it even made it possible for her to afford a cleaning lady. I was sold!

She distributed through a company called Deviant Delights. I researched this company and found it not to be to my liking. Most of the DD reps reminded me of the sort of ladies that lurked around truck stops. You know, they were a little rough around the edges. And I didn't like the fact that you had to deliver the packages yourself post party as opposed to drop shipments at the hostess' home. I also didn't like that attendance at a monthly meeting at a local sleazy diner was mandatory.

Now being the greedy sort I am, my decision was made that Deviant Delights wasn't for me when I learned distributors only earned 30% and had to pay for the hostess gift out of pocket. After some investigation, I chose a company that promised a 40% profit on all toys sold. I found a rep through my friend Beatrice. She lived in Michigan but all our interactions could be easily done by phone or online. The company was called To Your Satisfaction or TYS for short.

I had to sell $1000 worth of products within three months to earn my kit at a discounted price but I knew I'd have no problem convincing other women in search of satisfaction to give me their milk money. In fact, the "toys", as they're discreetly referred to, seemed to sell themselves. I've grown quite outgoing as an adult and I hardly ever meet a stranger so saying "apply this to your clitoris" in front of a crowd of women I didn't hardly know wasn't going to be an issue for me.

I quickly convinced my dearest old girlfriend, JaeRae, to host my very first party. She accepted joyfully and I anticipated a great crowd.

I'll tell y'all all about that party tomorrow but I'll tell you this right now, Dierdre was dead on about it being a quick money maker. Selling sex toys to horny housewives was easier than I was in high school.